he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
