pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
