i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
