Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
