Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
