I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
