Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize