He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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