you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
