In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't apologize to a one balled man
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize