we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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