my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
