im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
