What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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