But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
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