So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
