So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
