she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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