I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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