4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I have demons in me.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
So much Jack, so little girl.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Randomize
