Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
