grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
