So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
She bit a glass in half.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
