Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
