I'd wear matching sweaters with you
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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