Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
