I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
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