just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
