i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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