I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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