So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
