You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
