i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
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