I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
