smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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