Swine flu is the new snow day.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
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He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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