After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
