i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
