the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
