Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize