I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I don't think brook has ever known best
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
