Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
