Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
