They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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