Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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