I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
