i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
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Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
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I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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