And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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