HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
