I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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