Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
this is an emotional support booty call
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize