We're like a lot better than the average bears
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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