she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
