i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
