OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
