Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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