I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
