My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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