brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Everclear isn't food dammit
Randomize
