her vagine was all disorganized.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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