This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
