Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
