Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
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